It’s Super Mom!

Super mom of chronic crap!
I deal with chronic pain and other illnesses that people don’t like to hear about. Mostly because they don’t truly understand it or they may have a friend that has a symptom but not actually the same thing. I’m not negative I’m just being honest.

So I’ll skip the big horse crap.

I had 3 MRI’s. One showed some white spots (with contrast), however it could be because I get migraines.  I will have another one on October.  I dislike MRI’s! If I don’t take anything prior I will have a panic attack!  I get blood work often, needless to say I’m not scared of a needle.  I’m on just enough pills that don’t make me feel insane – yet.  I am in pain but I tend to deal with it.  I never thought I could live fairly happy with what I have because of anxiety & depression can impact me.

My responsibility is to take care of her and taking care of her needs first. I should take care of me just enough to take care of her.  Because of her I have a different outlook on life.  She makes me strong!  Which I never thought I could be!

I do ask for help if need & my daughter basically knows I’m always sick. She pretends to call the doctor on her phone,  because mama does.  She plays doctor often & I wish those pretend shots and those sweet kisses would cure me!  I want her to know that I’m stronger than these diseases and I will do the best I can for her!

Any mama’s out there who changed how they lived bc of someone? As well if you have a little, what do you do now differently?


Repairing hearts

February never feels like an optimistic month for us. I had two miscarriages one year after the other at Valentines Day.
For him and I it was our day to grieve.

However, this past Valentine’s Day our daughter was almost 2 and I decided to move on… as best as I could.  With a heavy heart I did my very best to try and make her lovey day something she could smile about.

We made a card for my parents & a craft for him. The rest of her frozen cards were signed & colored creatively.

I felt a bit better. That my heart maybe on the mend. When you are trying for so long and get very excited to hear you are pregnant , losing a child at anytime is hard.

So dear angels, I tried to hold on but you sent us a bright smart rainbow!